It’s important to get out. Not just to see mountains but to see and interact with people. People who aren’t exactly like you. People who don’t see things exactly like you…
So often we are judged by our knee jerk reactions rather than by our thoughtful responses. We’re judged by our reactions when we’re hurt, cornered, fearful, hopeless, and alone rather than by our responses when we’re peacefully and thoughtfully convicted. There is more to us than search results, sound bites, and social media posts. We…
In a conversation with friends about the role that acceptance plays in life and especially in healing, it suddenly clicked with me that…
Change the way you think about things to…
There’s a vast chasm between…
We kept her alive maybe longer than we should have. The four of us. But those extra years were bonus years. Even when she didn’t know us…
Be different. But not completely different. Just different in the way we think you should be different. Different in the way we think others think you should be different. Because we know. And they know. Better than you. Who you should be. Regardless of who you are.Regardless of how you feel.Regardless of what you know.Regardless…
Those with self-awareness…
The degree to which you love the one you love the least is a measure of the degree to which you love the one you claim to love the most. I have never been more convinced. The degree to which you love the one you love the most is a measure of mere convenience. That…
Wisdom is valuing those you love before you lose them.
Sometimes we write off those who have invested most in us. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, spouses, teachers. Anyone who doesn’t reflect on us the way we wish they would. Anyone who is broken for reasons we know nothing of. We write them out of our beautiful, cool, artistic picture. And that’s our prerogative….
Seek every day both to maintain and to attain things of the greatest importance.
I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s possible to crush someone’s spirit into non-existence. To break someone down so they can’t take another step. Miraculous healing is possible, but it often empowers those who’ve done the crushing to keep doing it indefinitely. Consequences level the field and are, perhaps, the best and most honest…
It takes less energy to actually care than it does to pretend that you do.
Reading one’s own social media feeds that have been limited and shaped over weeks and years by algorithmic responses to your own personal preferences is not “doing your research.”
Some flavors—like apple and banana and cilantro—pervade and overpower anything and everything they’re mixed with. Other flavors are more subtle but just as delicious. It’s kind of the same with people.
There’s a passage in the Bible about becoming as little children that I often ponder. It’s worth considering whether or not you’re a Christian. I don’t think for a moment that it’s a call to become like fifth graders or even two-year-olds in terms of self-seeking behavior. What I do believe it means is flying…
Lost another dear friend to cancer. So many beloved friends and family fighting that fight, and I often contemplate the reality that I may soon join them. You never know when it’s the last conversation you’ll have with someone. You bump into them at the local mercantile—of all people, you bump into them. You catch…
Don’t do stupid stuff. Own and apologize for the stupid stuff you’ve done. Don’t use the stupid stuff you’ve already done to justify doing more stupid stuff. Don’t use the stupid stuff that others have done to justify doing more stupid stuff. Don’t judge others by the stupid stuff they’ve done, because you’ve done equally…
Notice how the older people in your life tend to go silent as they age. Not because they have nothing to say. But because they no longer live simply to be heard.
Failure is always an option. It’s just not the preferred one.
The things we see and experience produce feelings that form mental associations that connect with hints of reality, changing how we negotiate our way through life for better or worse. What we expose ourselves to creates short-term moods that turn into deep-seated attitudes that influence our perceptions and life choices for the long term. They…
There’s a saying that I think is largely true for many of us—that you’re only ever as happy as your least happy child. I believe there’s another corollary—that children are only ever as happy as their mother or, as the case may be, the one who plays the maternal role in their lives. They can…
When you let your beliefs hijack your neutrality in what data you select and how you interpret them, you’ve fallen victim to confirmation bias. To correct for it, err on the side of disconfirmation. Seek evidence that challenges your beliefs—and raise the burden of proof for evidence that affirms them. ~Adam Grant Many of the…
Love never fails. That eternal, profound realization hit me long ago when my kids were small and I was still struggling just to keep my patience. How incredibly all-consuming and eternal. It extends universes beyond human politics, philosophies and bottom lines. It has no geographical limits or borders. It has continued to hold me accountable…
There are endless hiking trails nearby, many much closer than this one. But I return to Big Mountain more often than not. It’s where I work out the stresses of recent weeks and the sorrows of recent years. “I climb so I can feel tired and sore in places other than my heart.” At first…
Sometimes it’s enough…
Your emotionally immature parent Took things as they came Gave everything they had Hoped it would be enough. Your emotionally immature parent Saw the best in you Believed the best in you Tried to see the best in themselves. Looked. Hoped. Believed. Your emotionally immature parent Actually cared Tried to make life good for you…
To be educated is to understand…
In missing the point, it is possible to miss the entire experience.
In the evening, the cows up on the hill at the Lonesome Dove Ranch cry as if they’ve lost their calves. It reminds me of my last phone call with my father.
Fragmentary Life 